Mixed Up Family

People sometimes ask me why I feel so strongly about adoption. My desires to adopt have come from a very personal place in my life. My family is very mixed up.... I don't mean in a bad way (OK, I think every family has a little crazy in it) but just in a way that we come from all over the place. Here's a little rundown of my family so that when I talk about wanting to adopt you know where it's coming from.

My biological father and mother found out she was pregnant when my mom was  merely 17 years old. They got married and welcomed my brother and sister into this world on August 6th, 1969 (yes, they're twins). My mom then settled into motherhood and attempted, unsuccessfully, to have more children for 14 years. I was the "surprise" that came almost exactly 14 years after the birth of my brother and sister.

This is my biological sister and me.

My parents were then divorced when I was three years old. My brother and sister were 17 and on their way out into the world. My father was rarely around from that point on and when he was there he was generally just a terrible person and influence. After the divorce my mom moved us to another home on a cul-de-sac where there were tons of children who played together outside until the last shred of light held on and everyone would skid into the front door as the street lights came on. It was a much needed change from our life with my father.

Bob, Wayne, Carrie, and Janice

Next door to that house lived a family who would later become an integral part of our lives. Bob and Janice were the married unit of my familial dreams. They had adopted Carrie from Korea and Wayne from San Diego. Wayne was only a year and a half older than me and quickly became my best friend. As time progressed and Wayne and I spent more and more time together, I slowly insinuated myself into their home. I was there just as much as I was at my own home. Bob saw how much my mom was struggling to be a mother, father and provider for me all at once. He realized the fatherly void in my life and rushed to fill it. 

Late night tantrums... He was there.

Early morning nightmares... He was there.

School performances, report cards, skinned knees, story time.... He was there for all that too.

As you can see I was a fighter by nature... there were a lot of tantrums.

Bob simply had a gift for being a dad. I truly believe that is why he and Janice were never able to have children of their own. They were put on this Earth to parent other people's children.

Bob became "Dad" and Janice became a step-mom of sorts. Bob, Janice and my mom filled every need I had from a family, we just lived in separate houses. Early in the morning my mom would get ready for work and carry my tired, limp body over to Bob and Janice's. Janice would then get me up and ready for school. At night my mom and Bob would tuck me in. It was sort of a village effort to raise me. 

There were times when I felt a lot of yearning for my biological father and a need for his love, attention and acceptance, but as I grew older I learned that family isn't always the people that you were born with but rather the ones that God blesses your life with.

Brother, Mom, Me, Donny, Bob, Sister

Bob is the person that stood proudly at my graduation and cheered me on. He is the man my husband went to when he asked for my hand in marriage and the man that walked me down the aisle. He has comforted me, scolded me and been there when the man that was given me, wasn't. He is the man I call, "Dad." 

Dad and me on my wedding day

To this day I know that "adoption" means to be chosen. It means someone loving you, caring for you and committing their life to raising you because they choose to.
That's why I want to adopt a child.